Are you a People Pleaser or a Perfectionist?:
People pleasers and perfectionists may be particularly susceptible to burnout due to their tendency to overwork and sacrifice their well-being for the benefit of others.
One of the main causes of burnout is weak boundaries. Boundaries are limits that individuals set to communicate how they want to be treated and what they are willing to do. Boundaries protect individuals from being mistreated and assert their needs and rights at work.
Overworking is a common boundary-related problem that can lead to burnout. Technology and global marketplaces have made it possible, and often expected, for employees to work beyond the traditional 9-5 schedule. Consistently exceeding one’s limits can lead to exhaustion, strained relationships, diminished work quality, resentment towards colleagues or clients, and decreased enthusiasm for work, ultimately contributing to burnout.
1. Master the Art of Saying No Politely but Firmly
Why: Many people overextend themselves because they’re afraid to say no.
How: Practice responses like:
- “I’m at capacity right now, so I can’t take this on.”
- “I’ll need to prioritise something else at the moment.”
Tip: You don’t need to over-explain yourself. A simple “no” sets the tone that your time and energy are valuable.
2. Prioritise Your Own Goals
Why: It’s easy to spend time helping others and neglect your own needs.
How: Write down your goals, both personal and professional, and actively schedule time to pursue them.
Tip: Block “me time” on your calendar and treat it like an unbreakable appointment.
3. Stop Over-Accommodating Others
Why: When you give too much, others may unintentionally take advantage of your kindness.
How: Start small—adjust behaviours such as always offering the best options to others or giving in during disagreements.
Tip: Instead of asking “What works best for you?” try “This is what works best for me—let me know if it’s manageable.”
4. Allow Others to Step Up
Why: If you’re always giving, people become dependent on you.
How: Delegate tasks or let others take the lead, even if it’s uncomfortable at first.
Tip: When someone asks for help, don’t rush in. Instead, say: “What do you think the next steps should be?”
5. Take Credit Where It’s Due
Why: If you’re consistently giving and not taking credit, others may take the spotlight.
How: When you’ve done good work, make sure it’s acknowledged by saying something like:
- “This project came together because I put in extra hours on the final details.”
Tip: You can acknowledge teamwork while still highlighting your contributions.
6. Set Clear Boundaries with Time and Energy
Why: Without clear boundaries, you’ll keep giving too much.
How: Set rules around when you’re available (e.g., stop answering emails after work hours).
Tip: Use phrases like:
- “I’m unavailable after 6pm, but I can address this tomorrow morning.”
7. Speak Up When Your Needs Aren’t Met
Why: People can’t read your mind. If you don’t ask, you may not receive it.
How: If you feel short-changed, speak up:
- “I noticed I’ve taken on extra work—how can we balance this better?”
Tip: Frame your requests in terms of fairness and balance rather than blame.
8. Reward Yourself Often
Why: If you’re giving less and taking more, you may need to combat feelings of guilt.
How: Celebrate when you prioritise yourself—whether it’s with downtime, a small treat, or simply acknowledging that you’re growing.
Tip: Reflect on how your well-being improves when you take more for yourself.
9. Recognise When You’re Being Guilt-Tripped
Why: People may try to push you back into a giving role through guilt.
How: If you sense this, respond with grace but assertiveness:
- “I understand that this may feel inconvenient, but I have to stick to what works for me right now.”
10. Embrace Self-Compassion
Why: Putting yourself first isn’t selfish—it’s necessary for your well-being.
How: Remind yourself that taking more doesn’t make you a bad person. It helps you avoid burnout and achieve your own goals.
Tip: Journaling or reflecting on moments where you stood up for yourself can reinforce this mindset.
By following these steps, you’ll not only “take a bit more and give a bit less” but also set the stage for healthier relationships and a more balanced life. Go get ‘em.